So, I have been reading a book called Amish Values for Your Family by Suzanne Woods Fisher. The author has had several family members raised in the Amish culture and remains close to a few communities. This book is some of the best values from the Amish that you could or even should incorporate into your family's today with out "going Amish"
Below is an excerpt from one of the sections called Great Expectations. I found it to be very interesting and thought it was worthwhile to share :)
"An elementary public school teacher taught her class about magnets. The next day, she gave them a quiz that included this question: "My name has six letters. The first one is m. I pick up things. What am I?" The teacher was stunned to see that almost half of the class had filled in the answer to that question with the word mother.
Amusing, yes, but with a sting of truth. We moms (dads, too) do too much for our children! This generation of parents has been more involved in their children's lives than any other before it, experts say-but they also place few demands on their children. Whatever the reason - busyness (it's easier to do things ourselves) or over protectiveness (our child needs our advocacy) -- we just don't expect enough from our kids.
Short term, it is easier to do more for our kids. But long term? We end up extending our children's adolescence. "My son handed me a thank-you note to mail the other day," said Nancy, a mother of two. "He hadn't addressed it or stamped it. He doesn't know how! He had always just given me the written thank-you note, and I took care of mailing it. That was fine when he was ten...but he's twenty-one! Sometimes I think I've hobbled my kids with kindness."
By not asking enough of our children, we aren't helping them to grow up. In fact, they aren't growing up.
Among 2009 US college graduates, 80 percent moved back home with their parents after graduation. That's up from 77 percent in 2008, 73 percent in 2007, and 67 percent in 2006. Today's young adults are going to school longer, job-hopping, and delaying marriage and children. Sociologists debate what could be driving these changing attitudes. Some blame a dismal economy; others point out that many of these young adults are children of divorce and thus are in no hurry to marry. But one thing they all agree on: today's well-educated, media-savvy, and wordly kids just don't seem very mature -- if maturity is defined as accepting responsibility for oneself and fulfilling expectations -- compared with where their parents and grandparents were at the same point in their lives. In today's world, thirty is the new fifteen!
By contrast, no one could deny that Amish youth are well prepared for adulthood. A lifelong work ethic is well developed at a young age with household and farm chores. The Amish know that much of the on-the-job training for the workplace takes place at home as children participate in simple chores and tasks. They stare children off with age-appropriate chores as young as three. As children grow, so do their responsibilities. Expectations are clearly set. Income earned by teens who work outside the home is handed over to a parent, most often for purchasing a future property or establishing a business. Most Amish young adults marry in their early twenties and start their families within a year or two. While Amish parents may help to initially finance a child's farm or business, the young couples quickly become independent and self-sufficient. And solvent. Marriage and parenthood, for Amish young adults, are values goals, not burdens to be postponed. Adulthood doesn't come as a shock -- they have been preparing for it all of their lives.
Taking the time to consistently train, follow through on expectations, correct and encourage our children isn't always easy in the given moment, but such an investment of our times will return to bless our kids again and again. And the ultimate reward? Adulthood won't come as a shock."Some of what the author says is a blanket statement and while based on facts may have some heavy personal opinions mixed in, I think that the overall point is made clear. It's been a great read so far and I think that no matter what your family values or traditions are, some of the simple but powerful truths in this book are worth looking into.
